Teo, your concept here is strong, and it's good to see this piece fully realized. Hearing you describe the layered narrative, this occurred to me: what if you were to try layering some of the panels -- say, with the top panel slightly offset from the one underneath so that you could still see and read both, but there would be the allusion to multiple narratives woven together? Maybe this is something you can consider moving forward. As it is, I actually like the way the reading order becomes confused around the center box. Part of me wishes the order was confused throughout (I'm not sure how this would work, but it's worth thinking about). As far as the actual drawing goes, I don't have much to offer, but to me the form and structure of comics speak volumes in themselves, so I want to urge you to explore new ways to approach these. There seems to be so much untrodden ground in this area.
Teo, your concept here is strong, and it's good to see this piece fully realized. Hearing you describe the layered narrative, this occurred to me: what if you were to try layering some of the panels -- say, with the top panel slightly offset from the one underneath so that you could still see and read both, but there would be the allusion to multiple narratives woven together? Maybe this is something you can consider moving forward. As it is, I actually like the way the reading order becomes confused around the center box. Part of me wishes the order was confused throughout (I'm not sure how this would work, but it's worth thinking about). As far as the actual drawing goes, I don't have much to offer, but to me the form and structure of comics speak volumes in themselves, so I want to urge you to explore new ways to approach these. There seems to be so much untrodden ground in this area.
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